My mind won't stop going. Faster and faster the thoughts flow.
How do people do this alone? How do people live in this lonesome isolation full of racing feelings and uncontrolled emotions? I feel trapped in my head, in this body, in this void.  I feel swallowed whole by darkness and fear of the unknown.  Why would I let anyone in here? But how can I not? I don't want to be alone but I don't want to be hurt again.  Are they all like he was? Will there ever be anyone who doesn't stomp all over my heart?

The older I get, the more accepting I am of myself.  As weird as that sounds, it's my reality.  I've spent the majority of my life not liking myself, and the few times I have started to like myself, someone showed me that I shouldn't, so I stopped. 


Well here I am 34 1/2 years old and trying to learn to love myself. 


Physically imperfect
Mentally exhausted most of the time
Emotionally....there is not a word to describe it.......maybe diverse?


I think randomly....I think too much....I think without ceasing.


I'm figuring out all the parts of me that are ME without an outside force making it me. 


My randomness, my mind, my soul, my huge heart that I wear right on my sleeve, my complete brutal openness, my unfiltered mouth.....these things make me ME.